Recycling

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lswot
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Re: Recycling

Post by lswot » Sun Jan 13, 2013 6:42 pm

:shock:
:beamup: lswot
eccl 2:13

"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......

Henry J
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Post by Henry J » Mon Jan 14, 2013 7:27 pm

From an episode of Jeopardy!:

Q: The cartoon character Porky the Pig appeared with a cat named what?

A: What is "Beans".

Think about it...

(Are you ready for this?)

The two of them were "Porky and Beans".

========================

Henry

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Re: Recycling

Post by lswot » Tue Jan 15, 2013 6:09 pm

:D
:beamup: lswot
eccl 2:13

"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......

Henry J
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Post by Henry J » Tue Jan 15, 2013 7:30 pm

Just Ask Newton

MEDICAL STUDENT: Professor, why do we have to study physics? It has nothing to do with our profession.

Professor: Because it saves lives.

Student: How on earth can a physics course save lives?

Professor: It prevents idiots from graduating.

==================

Henry

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Re: Recycling

Post by lswot » Wed Jan 16, 2013 9:31 am

:lol:
:beamup: lswot
eccl 2:13

"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......

Henry J
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Post by Henry J » Wed Jan 16, 2013 7:30 pm

Wisdom of a Child

LITTLE SUSIE complained to her mother that she had a stomachache.

"That's because your stomach is empty," said her mom. "You would feel a whole lot better if you had something in it."

Later that day, their pastor dropped in for a visit and remarked that he had a headache.

Susie perked up. "My mom says that's because it's empty. You'd feel much better if you had something in it!"

==================

Henry

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Re: Recycling

Post by lswot » Thu Jan 17, 2013 11:28 am

:clap: :lol:
:beamup: lswot
eccl 2:13

"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......

Henry J
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Post by Henry J » Thu Jan 17, 2013 8:07 pm

Taking It Lightly

SOME CITY BOYS were on their first camping trip. As they sat around the campfire, mosquitoes began to bite them.

"Let's go inside the tents," the counselor suggested.

That night, while everybody was sleeping, one of the boys woke up and nudged the counselor.

"What's wrong?" the counselor asked.

The boy pointed to a group of fireflies. "It's those mosquitoes again, and this time they brought flashlights!"

==================

(Yep, to all in tents and purposes, those bugs have seen the light! )

Henry

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Re: Recycling

Post by lswot » Fri Jan 18, 2013 10:37 am

:smile:
:beamup: lswot
eccl 2:13

"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......

Henry J
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Post by Henry J » Fri Jan 18, 2013 7:29 pm

Quick Question

IF MARRIAGE were illegal, would only outlaws have in-laws?

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Re: Recycling

Post by lswot » Sat Jan 19, 2013 8:52 am

yes...... :smile:
:beamup: lswot
eccl 2:13

"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......

Henry J
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Post by Henry J » Sat Jan 19, 2013 4:50 pm

They asked my Uncle Wally if anybody in his family suffers from insanity.

He said "No, they all seem to be enjoying it."

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Re: Recycling

Post by lswot » Sun Jan 20, 2013 12:55 pm

:lol: :lol:
:beamup: lswot
eccl 2:13

"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......

Henry J
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Post by Henry J » Sun Jan 20, 2013 6:00 pm

Subject: Even Dear Abby can't answer
LETTERS DEAR ABBY ADMITTED SHE WAS AT A LOSS TO ANSWER.

-----------
Dear Abby - A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese?

(Does either of them look like Cpl. Klinger from MASH?)

-----------
Dear Abby - What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence on my VCR?

(Yeah, gotta watch that bird language! )

-----------
Dear Abby - I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his.

(If he's cheating that much, are you sure your baby is yours?)

-----------
Dear Abby - I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boy friend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.

-----------
Dear Abby - I've suspected that my husband has been fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, he denied everything and said it would never happen again.

-----------
Dear Abby - Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?

(Yeah, gotta be careful around members of that religion. Chop. Chop. )

-----------
Dear Abby - I joined the Navy to see the world. I seen it. Now how do I get out?

(Out of the navy? Or out of the world?)

-----------
Dear Abby - My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy.

(Uh - yeah. )

-----------
Dear Abby - I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't even know he drank until one night he came home sober.

-----------
Dear Abby - My mother is mean and short tempered. I think she is going through mental pause.

-----------
Dear Abby - You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband has lost all interest in sex and he is a doctor. Now what do I do?

(Get a second opinion?)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Henry

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Post by Henry J » Mon Jan 21, 2013 8:10 pm

A father, whose looks are not such as to warrent the breaking up of all existing statues of APOLLO, tells this on himself:

"My little girl was sitting on my lap facing a mirror. After gazing intently at her reflection for some minutes she said: 'Papa, did God make you?'

" 'Certainly, my dear.' I told her.
" 'And did He make me, too?'-taking another look in the mirror?
" 'Certainly, dear. What makes you ask?'
" 'Seems to me He's doing better work lately.' "

Henry

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