Recycling

[lswot]

[Henry J]

Miscellaneous Jokes

When a fellow called a motel and asked how much they charged for a room, the clerk told him that the rates depended on room size and number of people. "Do you take children?" the man asked.
"No, sir," replied the clerk. "Only cash and credit cards."

================

Henry

[lswot]

[Henry J]

Family Jokes

Joan and her neighbor are talking about their daughters, Joan says, my daughter is at the university. She's very bright, you know. Every time we get a letter from her we have to go to the dictionary.
Her neighbor says you are lucky every time we hear from our daughter we have to go to the bank.

======================

Henry

[lswot]

And she know how to spell that....m-o-n-e-y....

[Henry J]

Entertainment Jokes

Three men were sitting on a park bench. The one in the middle was reading a newspaper; the others were pretending to fish. They baited imaginary hooks, cast lines, and reeled in their catch.
A passing policeman stopped to watch the spectacle and asked the man in the middle if he knew the other two.
"Oh yes" he said. "They 're my friends."
"In that case," warned the officer, "you'd better get them out of here!"
"Yes, sir" the man replied, and he began rowing furiously.

(Row row row your bench...)

(Up the park without a paddle? )

(Hey, did those guys have licenses to fish? If not, no wonder they were floundering on their perch! )

Henry

[lswot]

You have such a way with words.

[Henry J]

I'm trying!

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Work Jokes

One CEO always scheduled staff meetings for 4:30 on Friday afternoons. One of the employees finally got up the nerve to ask why, the CEO explained, "I'll tell you its very simple – it's the only time of the week when none of you seems to want to argue with me."

(Sneaky!)

[lswot]

What OT?!!!

[Henry J]

This meeting is adjourned!

[Henry J]

Musician Jokes

A saxophone is like a lawsuit.
Everyone is happy when the case is closed.

(At least it's not bagpipes...)

[Henry J]

Entertainment Jokes

Asia was by far my favorite destination," the woman bragged at the party, though she had never been out of the United States. "Enigmatic and magical, beautiful beyond belief. And China, of course, is the pearl of the Asian oyster."
"What about the pagodas?" a man besides her asked. "Did you see them?"
"Did I see them? My dear, I had dinner with them."

(Bon apetit!)

(One of these days, somebody should buy that woman a dictionary! )

Henry

[Henry J]

Doctors Jokes

The psychiatrist said sternly to the patient: "If you think you are walking out of here cured after only three sessions, you are crazy."

(I've heard that anybody who goes to a psychiatrist should get their head examined.)

(Then there was the guy who was asked if his relatives suffered from insanity. He said no, they seem to enjoy it. )

Henry

[Henry J]

A Wee Bit of Scottish Humor

The chemistry teacher at Strathtweed High School asked if anyone in the class could recall the chemical composition of water - which he had given in the previous lesson. Wee Willie Forsyth's hand shot up and he responded "H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O sir!" The teacher was stunned and asked "Where did you get that from?" Wee Willie replied "It was you, sir. You said yesterday that the chemical composition of water was H to O."

(Sounds like that kid's gonna be a man of letters! Though probably not a chemist. )

===============

Later in the day, the history teacher was lecturing on the founding of Roman civilization and asked the class "When was Rome built?" Wee Willie immediately raised his hand and responded "At night!" The teacher frowned and asked where he had learned that. Wee Willie replied: "My dad - he always says that Rome wasn't built in a day..."

(If it wasn't build by day, was it build by knights? )

===============

Henry

[lswot]

....of the round table?