Recycling

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Sun Nov 04, 2012 4:19 pm

I dunno. That Arrow show doesn't seem to have attracted much discussion, even if you'd think it would have left people all a quiver.

Henry

lswot · Post by **lswot** » Sun Nov 04, 2012 6:06 pm

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Mon Nov 05, 2012 7:34 pm

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Copied from another BB:

I have a friend who is president of his homeowner's association down in Washington. They are having a terrible problem with trash on the side of the road that is around his association's homes. The reason according to Wallace (my friend) is, there are being built just next to them, six new homes... big ones! Wallace said the trash is coming from the Mexican work crews working at the construction sites. (McDonald bags, Burger King trash, etc). He has pleaded with the site supervisors and the general contractor to no avail, called the City, County, and the Police and got no help. So... guess what some people in his community did...

They organized about twenty folks, named themselves the "Inner Neighborhood Services" to go out at lunch time and "police" the trash themselves. It is what they did while picking up the trash that is HILARIOUS !!!!!!!!

They got some navy blue baseball caps and had the initials "INS" in gold put on the caps. It doesn't take a rocket scientist, however, to understand what they hoped people would think it means.

Well, the day after their first pick up detail, with them wearing their caps and some carrying cameras, 46 out of 68, of the construction workers did not show up for work the next morning!!!!!!!!... and haven't come back yet!!!!! It has been ten days.

Now the General Contractor, I understand is madder than hell, but can't say anything publicly, because he could be busted for hiring "illegal aliens". Wallace and his bunch can't be accused of impersonating INS folks, because they have on their home owner association records the vote to form the new committee within their association, plus they informed the INS about what they were doing in advance, and the INS said basically according to Wallace... "Have at it"!

SO FOLKS, I THINK YOU COULD SAY THAT YANKEE INGENUITY TRIUMPHS AGAIN!!!!!!!

Charles

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Henry

lswot · Post by **lswot** » Tue Nov 06, 2012 6:26 pm

Way to go

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Tue Nov 06, 2012 7:15 pm

Political Jokes

During a terrible storm, all the highway signs were covered with snow. The following spring, the state decided to raise all the signs twelve inches at a cost of six million dollars. "That's an outrageous price!" said a local farmer, "but I guess we're lucky the state handled it instead of the federal government."
"Why's that?"
"Because knowing the federal government, they'd decided to lower the highways."

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Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into a path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs "give me your money," he demanded. Indignant, the affluent man replied, "you can't do this – I am a United States congressman!" "In that case," replied the mugger, "give me MY money."

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Do you know the trouble with political jokes?

Too many of them get elected.

Do you know the meaning of the word "politics"?

Well, "poly" is a prefix meaning "many", and ticks are small blood sucking creatures. Put them together and...

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The reason elections are held in November is because that is the best month to pick out a Turkey!
"Maxine"

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"What do you think of Red China?" One woman asked another during a party on world affairs.
"Oh, I don't know," said the other woman. "I guess it would be all right if you use it on a white tablecloth."

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Running for Senate
A young man was running for the Senate in New York State. His political advisor heard some news that really upset him.

"Look," he said, "You've got to go to Albany right away or you'll lose a lot of votes. They're telling lies about you there."

"I've got to go to Buffalo first or I'll lose more votes," the candidate replied.

"What's going on in Buffalo?" the advisor asked.

"They're telling the truth about me there," the candidate replied.

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Henry

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Sat Nov 10, 2012 2:56 pm

Entertainment Jokes

A man mentioned to his landlord about the tenants in the apartment over his. "Many a night they stamp on the floor and shout till midnight." When the landlord asked if it bothered him, he replied, "Not really, for I usually stay up and practice my trumpet till about that time most every night anyway."

(A two word hint to the trumpeter: Cause. Effect.

)

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Henry

lswot · Post by **lswot** » Sat Nov 10, 2012 6:21 pm

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Sun Nov 11, 2012 9:50 am

Military Jokes

The new army recruit was serving his first guard duty. He did his best for a while but about 5 a.m. he went to sleep. When he opened his eyes he found the day officer standing before him. Remembering the stiff penalty for being asleep on guard duty, this clever young man kept his head bowed for another moment, then looked upward and reverently said, "A-a-a-men!"

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Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Mon Nov 12, 2012 7:21 pm

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."
So he tied her up and went fishing.

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Henry

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Wed Nov 14, 2012 6:42 pm

A Wee Bit of Scottish Humor

Mr Forsyth-Smyth was having a disastrous game of golf, much to the distress of his caddie. After slicing his drive and seeing the ball ricochet off two trees and end up in a burn, Forsyth-Smyth turned to the caddie apologetically and said "Golf is a funny old game, isn't it?" The caddie thought for a moment before slowly replying "Aye, but it's not meant to be..."

(Or to put it another way, golf is a long walk ruined!)

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Henry

lswot · Post by **lswot** » Thu Nov 15, 2012 12:52 pm

Thank you Mark Twain.

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Thu Nov 15, 2012 6:35 pm

College Jokes

A college student said to his mother, "I decided that I want to be a political science major and that I want to clean up the mess in the world!"

"That is very nice," muted his mother. "You can go upstairs and start with your room."

(Think mom somehow missed the point?

)

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Family Jokes

Why did the woman only change her baby's diaper once a month?
On the package it read "good for up to 15 pounds"

(Ew?)

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Henry

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Fri Nov 16, 2012 7:14 pm

Kid Jokes

Teacher: What does your father do for a living?
Student: He is a magician.
Teacher: what is his favorite event.
Student: He cuts people in two.
Teacher: How many brothers and sisters do you have?
Student: One half-brother and one half-sister....

(Half and half? That could leave them beside themselves!)

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Henry

lswot · Post by **lswot** » Sat Nov 17, 2012 6:06 pm

Groan

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Sun Nov 18, 2012 3:36 pm

Take two aspirin, and ignore me in the morning...

The Show Place

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