Recycling

[Henry J]

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New Exercise for Seniors
Just came across this exercise suggested for seniors, to build muscle strength in the arms and shoulders. It seems so easy, so I thought I'd pass it on to some of my younger friends. The article suggested doing it three days a week.

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side.

With a 5-LB. potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides, and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, then relax.

Each day, you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.

After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-LB. potato sacks.

Then 50-LB. potato sacks, and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-LB. potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks;

but be careful.

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Henry

[lswot]

[Henry J]

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Safely Home

An elderly woman was nervous about making her first flight in an airplane, so before takeoff, she went to see the captain about her fears.

"You will bring me down safely, won't you?" she anxiously inquired.

"Don't worry, Madam," came the friendly reply. "I haven't left anyone up there yet."

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(But there's always a first time, right? )

Henry

[Henry J]

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Reassurance

Nervous passenger to stewardess:

"How often do these aircraft crash?"

Stewardess:

"Only once"

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(Don't you just feel safer already? )

Henry

[lswot]

Well of course.

[Henry J]

Thought so!

[Henry J]

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: Question / Answer Jokes

Do you know why Noah didn't fish very often?

He only had two worms.

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Well, I guess he wasn't an early bird, huh?

Henry

[lswot]

*groan*

[Henry J]

Why, did you hurt yerself?

[lswot]

[Henry J]

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Mosquito

Two boys from the city were on a camping trip. The mosquitoes were so fierce, the boys had to hide under their blankets to keep from being bitten. Then one of them saw some fireflies and said to his friend, "We might as well give up, they're coming at us with flashlights!"

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To all in tents and purposes, anyway!

Henry

[Henry J]

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: Computer Jokes

As Computer Tech I sometimes help clients over the phone. Here is a recent phone dialogue I had with one of my customers.

Tech: Workshops can I help.
Customer: My dog is not barking, how can I make it bark.
Tech: I am sorry mam but this is not SPCA.
Customer: I know that but how can I make the dog on my computer bark.
Tech: Do you mean a dog in a computer game or something?
Customer: I mean a small dog that comes on when I type in Microsoft Word.
Tech: Are your speakers on?
Customer: No
Tech: Turn on your speakers and you will hear your dog barking when it barks
Customer: Ooooh why didn't I figure that, thanks so much

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I guess its bark was worse than its byte! Woof!

Henry

[lswot]

[Henry J]

From the interview piece of Jeopardy!:

Alex: "Iddoshe, from Louisville, KY, who went on an African safari. Where?"
Iddoshe, after a pause: "In Africa."
Alex: "Let's try that again."

Henry

[lswot]