Recycling
Exactly!
Re: Recycling
lswoteccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
***** (2/4)
"Buy, Buy" - A flight attendant making market recommendations as you Step off the plane.
Standard & Poor - Your life in a nutshell.
Stock Analyst - Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
Stock split - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split all your assets equally Between themselves.
Financial Planner - A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs To the 7-11 for toilet paper and cigarettes.
Market Correction - The day after you buy stocks.
*****
"Buy, Buy" - A flight attendant making market recommendations as you Step off the plane.
Standard & Poor - Your life in a nutshell.
Stock Analyst - Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
Stock split - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split all your assets equally Between themselves.
Financial Planner - A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs To the 7-11 for toilet paper and cigarettes.
Market Correction - The day after you buy stocks.
*****
***** (3/4)
Cash Flow - The movement your money makes as it disappears down the Toilet.
Call Option - Something people used to do with a telephone in ancient times before e-mail.
Day Trader - Someone who is disloyal from 9-5.
Cisco - Sidekick of Pancho.
Yahoo - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
Windows 2000 - What you jump out of when you're the sucker that bought Yahoo for $240 per share.
Institutional Investor - Past year investor who's now locked up in a nut house.
*****
Cash Flow - The movement your money makes as it disappears down the Toilet.
Call Option - Something people used to do with a telephone in ancient times before e-mail.
Day Trader - Someone who is disloyal from 9-5.
Cisco - Sidekick of Pancho.
Yahoo - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
Windows 2000 - What you jump out of when you're the sucker that bought Yahoo for $240 per share.
Institutional Investor - Past year investor who's now locked up in a nut house.
*****
Re: Recycling
The check is in the mail......
lswoteccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
***** (4/4)
Profit - Religious guy who talks to God.
Bill Gates - Where God goes for a loan.
Alan Greenspan - God, yeah right.....
and...
Mezzanine financing--Shoplifting merchandise at the department store to sell on the street, so you can eat tonight.
Float--What you do after hurling yourself off a bridge.
Revolving finance--Using one credit card to pay off the minimum payment(s) on (an)other(s).
Capital--A safe building to sleep outside of, since they have a security patrol.
*****
Henry
Profit - Religious guy who talks to God.
Bill Gates - Where God goes for a loan.
Alan Greenspan - God, yeah right.....
and...
Mezzanine financing--Shoplifting merchandise at the department store to sell on the street, so you can eat tonight.
Float--What you do after hurling yourself off a bridge.
Revolving finance--Using one credit card to pay off the minimum payment(s) on (an)other(s).
Capital--A safe building to sleep outside of, since they have a security patrol.
*****
Henry
Re: Recycling
But is it backed by gold pressed latinum?lswot wrote:The check is in the mail......
Re: Recycling
You need to ask Quark.......Henry J wrote:But is it backed by gold pressed latinum?lswot wrote:The check is in the mail......
lswoteccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
Top Ten Changes to Cable Television Resulting from AOL Acquiring Time Warner...
10. When you turn on your television, you'll hear "You've got Pay Per View".
9. There will be a mysterious 19 hour period where your cable just won't work.
8. Test Patterns: Television's equivalent to a busy signal.
7. Every once in a while you have to have your cable reinstalled.
6. 100 Free Trial Hours of Cable Access which you can't cancel, no matter how hard you try.
5. CIA: Cable Instant Alerter. Now all your friends will know when you are watching television.
4. Childproof features on cable will prevent you from receiving programs from undesirable sources, including ones you really do want to receive.
3. The cable repairman tells you to turn your TV off and back on again when you report your cable is on the fritz.... again.
2. Relatives in neighboring towns make fun of you because you don't have a "real" cable company like they do.
1. "You've been watching TV too long. Your connection has been terminated."
*****
Henry
10. When you turn on your television, you'll hear "You've got Pay Per View".
9. There will be a mysterious 19 hour period where your cable just won't work.
8. Test Patterns: Television's equivalent to a busy signal.
7. Every once in a while you have to have your cable reinstalled.
6. 100 Free Trial Hours of Cable Access which you can't cancel, no matter how hard you try.
5. CIA: Cable Instant Alerter. Now all your friends will know when you are watching television.
4. Childproof features on cable will prevent you from receiving programs from undesirable sources, including ones you really do want to receive.
3. The cable repairman tells you to turn your TV off and back on again when you report your cable is on the fritz.... again.
2. Relatives in neighboring towns make fun of you because you don't have a "real" cable company like they do.
1. "You've been watching TV too long. Your connection has been terminated."
*****
Henry
Re: Recycling
lswoteccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
*****
Subject: FW: Ideas
"To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world."
(But, is that this world, or Another World?)
"Real friends are those who, when you feel you've made a fool of yourself, don't feel you've done a permanent job."
(Yeah, even a permanent hairdo goes away after some time.)
"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side."
(When trying to make something foolproof, never underestimate the ingenuity of fools.)
"I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
(But check who else is going to be there, first.)
"Lead your life so you won't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip."
(Like in that James Bond movie where the bad guys mentioned their destination in front of the bird?)
"Life is 10% of what happens to you, and 90% of how you respond to it."
(Especially if you give it 110 percent.)
"Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep."
(And sometimes you can put the layers on your hamburger.)
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself."
(I thought I made a mistake once, but it turned out I was in error. error. error.)
"Following the path of least resistance is what makes rivers and men crooked."
(Yeah if resistance is low and voltage is high, the result can be shocking.)
*****
Henry
Subject: FW: Ideas
"To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world."
(But, is that this world, or Another World?)
"Real friends are those who, when you feel you've made a fool of yourself, don't feel you've done a permanent job."
(Yeah, even a permanent hairdo goes away after some time.)
"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side."
(When trying to make something foolproof, never underestimate the ingenuity of fools.)
"I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
(But check who else is going to be there, first.)
"Lead your life so you won't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip."
(Like in that James Bond movie where the bad guys mentioned their destination in front of the bird?)
"Life is 10% of what happens to you, and 90% of how you respond to it."
(Especially if you give it 110 percent.)
"Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep."
(And sometimes you can put the layers on your hamburger.)
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself."
(I thought I made a mistake once, but it turned out I was in error. error. error.)
"Following the path of least resistance is what makes rivers and men crooked."
(Yeah if resistance is low and voltage is high, the result can be shocking.)
*****
Henry
*****
A young blonde girl goes to the doctor for a physical. The doctor puts his stethoscope up to the girl's chest and says, "Big breaths."
The girl replies, "Yeth and I'm not even thixteen."
*****
A city in Alaska passed a law outlawing all dogs.
It became known as Dogless Fairbanks.
*****
Archaeologist: a person whose career lies in ruins.
*****
Henry
A young blonde girl goes to the doctor for a physical. The doctor puts his stethoscope up to the girl's chest and says, "Big breaths."
The girl replies, "Yeth and I'm not even thixteen."
*****
A city in Alaska passed a law outlawing all dogs.
It became known as Dogless Fairbanks.
*****
Archaeologist: a person whose career lies in ruins.
*****
Henry
Re: Recycling
....
lswoteccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
Dwight Nelson recently told a true story about the pastor of his church. He had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard and then was afraid to come down. The pastor coaxed, offered warm milk, etc. The kitty would not come down. The tree was not sturdy enough to climb, so the pastor decided that if he tied a rope to his car and drove away so that the tree bent down, he could then reach up and get the kitten. He did all this, checking his progress in the car frequently, then figured if he went just a little bit further, the tree would be bent sufficiently for him to reach the kitten.
But as he moved a little further forward, the rope broke. The tree went "boing!" and the kitten instantly sailed through the air - out of sight.
The pastor felt terrible. He walked all over the neighborhood asking people if they'd seen a little kitten. No. Nobody had seen a stray kitten. So he prayed, "Lord, I just commit this kitten to your keeping," and went on about his business.
A few days later he was at the grocery store, and met one of his church members. He happened to look into her shopping cart and was amazed to see cat food. Now this woman was a cat hater and everyone knew it, so he asked her, "Why are you buying cat food when you hate cats so much?"
She replied, "You won't believe this," and told him how her little girl had been begging her for a cat, but she kept refusing. Then a few days before, the child had begged again, so the Mom finally told her little girl, "Well if God gives you a cat, I'll let you keep it."
(You can see where this is heading.)
She told the pastor, "I watched my child go out in the yard, get on her knees, and ask God for a cat. And really, Pastor, you won't believe this, but I saw it with my own eyes. A kitten suddenly came flying out of the blue sky, with its paws outspread, and landed right in front of her."
*****
Henry
But as he moved a little further forward, the rope broke. The tree went "boing!" and the kitten instantly sailed through the air - out of sight.
The pastor felt terrible. He walked all over the neighborhood asking people if they'd seen a little kitten. No. Nobody had seen a stray kitten. So he prayed, "Lord, I just commit this kitten to your keeping," and went on about his business.
A few days later he was at the grocery store, and met one of his church members. He happened to look into her shopping cart and was amazed to see cat food. Now this woman was a cat hater and everyone knew it, so he asked her, "Why are you buying cat food when you hate cats so much?"
She replied, "You won't believe this," and told him how her little girl had been begging her for a cat, but she kept refusing. Then a few days before, the child had begged again, so the Mom finally told her little girl, "Well if God gives you a cat, I'll let you keep it."
(You can see where this is heading.)
She told the pastor, "I watched my child go out in the yard, get on her knees, and ask God for a cat. And really, Pastor, you won't believe this, but I saw it with my own eyes. A kitten suddenly came flying out of the blue sky, with its paws outspread, and landed right in front of her."
*****
Henry