Recycling
lswoteccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
Re: Recycling
lswoteccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
Entertainment Jokes
A rooster was strutting around the henhouse one Easter morning and came across a nest of eggs dyed every color of the rainbow. The rooster took one look at the colorful display, ran outside and beat the heck out of the resident peacock.
- S.C. Herald-Journal -
And another poster's "answer" to that:
Let me explain the joke. The rooster was mad at the peacock because he thought he had been cuckolded. Hens lay eggs. Peacocks do not lay eggs. Peahens do lay eggs. End lesson in peafowls. Sorry, this lesson does not address the coloration of the peahen's eggs.
(Also, People do not lay down, they lie down. Geese don't lay down either; they just shed down.)
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(Another also, I would ask if the color of the eggs is determined by the chick's genes or solely by the mother's genes? The answer to that might leave egg on the rooster's face! Er, so to speak. )
(Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the rooster! Or from Colonel Sanders, whichever was closer. )
(Say, the above remarks weren't too fowl were they? )
Henry
A rooster was strutting around the henhouse one Easter morning and came across a nest of eggs dyed every color of the rainbow. The rooster took one look at the colorful display, ran outside and beat the heck out of the resident peacock.
- S.C. Herald-Journal -
And another poster's "answer" to that:
Let me explain the joke. The rooster was mad at the peacock because he thought he had been cuckolded. Hens lay eggs. Peacocks do not lay eggs. Peahens do lay eggs. End lesson in peafowls. Sorry, this lesson does not address the coloration of the peahen's eggs.
(Also, People do not lay down, they lie down. Geese don't lay down either; they just shed down.)
-----
(Another also, I would ask if the color of the eggs is determined by the chick's genes or solely by the mother's genes? The answer to that might leave egg on the rooster's face! Er, so to speak. )
(Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the rooster! Or from Colonel Sanders, whichever was closer. )
(Say, the above remarks weren't too fowl were they? )
Henry
A Wee Bit of Scottish Humor
The room was full of expectant mums, with their partners. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurances to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy. She said: "Ladies: remember that exercise is GOOD for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier!" She looked at the men in the room. "And gentlemen, remember: you're in this together. So it wouldn't hurt you to go walking with your partner." The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information. Then a man at the back of the room slowly raised his hand. "Yes?" asked the teacher. "I was just wondering," the man said, "is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
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(FORE! )
Henry
The room was full of expectant mums, with their partners. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurances to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy. She said: "Ladies: remember that exercise is GOOD for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier!" She looked at the men in the room. "And gentlemen, remember: you're in this together. So it wouldn't hurt you to go walking with your partner." The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information. Then a man at the back of the room slowly raised his hand. "Yes?" asked the teacher. "I was just wondering," the man said, "is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
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(FORE! )
Henry
Re: Recycling
lswoteccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
Re: Recycling
How 'literal'..... 
lswoteccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
Miscellaneous Jokes
This is a true story.*
On a crowded Saturday morning I was walking toward a large grocery store. I saw two men fighting over the last grocery cart. Each one was holding on to it, jerking it away from the other. You've heard of road rage and now cart rage! What is the world coming to?
I got closer to the store; I still could not hear what the men were saying to each other. Must have been mean. I wondered what I should do. Talk to the store manager? What should I say to these men? Cart rage! Impatience!
I got closer yet to the store. This fight looks serious. Can't they wait for a customer to leave? The cart rage goes on! Neither one yielding to the other.
I'm finally close enough to hear the two men. Oh! No! One last jerk and the two men broke the cart in half. Now what? Then I hear one man say to the other: "Thanks for helping me separate these two carts."
(Don't put the carts before the horses... )
*Or at least that's what it said when I first read it!
Henry
This is a true story.*
On a crowded Saturday morning I was walking toward a large grocery store. I saw two men fighting over the last grocery cart. Each one was holding on to it, jerking it away from the other. You've heard of road rage and now cart rage! What is the world coming to?
I got closer to the store; I still could not hear what the men were saying to each other. Must have been mean. I wondered what I should do. Talk to the store manager? What should I say to these men? Cart rage! Impatience!
I got closer yet to the store. This fight looks serious. Can't they wait for a customer to leave? The cart rage goes on! Neither one yielding to the other.
I'm finally close enough to hear the two men. Oh! No! One last jerk and the two men broke the cart in half. Now what? Then I hear one man say to the other: "Thanks for helping me separate these two carts."
(Don't put the carts before the horses... )
*Or at least that's what it said when I first read it!
Henry
Re: Recycling
Hmmmm....appearances can be deceiving.......
lswoteccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
Re: Recycling
Ya think?
Entertainment Jokes
The diner was furious when his steak arrived too rare. "Waiter," he barked, "didn't you hear me say 'well done'?
"I can't thank you enough, sir," replied the waiter. "I hardly ever get a compliment."
(Methinks I can get why the compliments are, er, rare...
)
======================
Henry
The diner was furious when his steak arrived too rare. "Waiter," he barked, "didn't you hear me say 'well done'?
"I can't thank you enough, sir," replied the waiter. "I hardly ever get a compliment."
(Methinks I can get why the compliments are, er, rare...
)======================
Henry