Recycling

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Mon Jan 07, 2013 7:37 pm

Well, yeah!

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Mon Jan 07, 2013 7:41 pm

Kid Jokes

On the first day of school, the kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers."
A little voice from the back of the room asked "How will that help?"

(Good question!)

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A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

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Henry

lswot · Post by **lswot** » Tue Jan 08, 2013 11:43 am

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Tue Jan 08, 2013 8:05 pm

Elderly Jokes

"I see you're losing your hair."
"Nonsense. I know exactly where it is - down the bathroom sink."

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Miscellaneous Jokes

The best part about owning a restaurant for cats is the your customers don't complain when they get hair in their food.

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Henry

Website · Post by **brian** » Wed Jan 09, 2013 8:49 am

That elderly joke reminds me of one that Joan Rivers told recently on the Graham Norton show.

"When men tell me, 'I've lost my hair', I ask them, 'Have you checked your ears?'"

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Wed Jan 09, 2013 7:45 pm

Is that because hares have big ears?

Er, I mean, because ears have big hares?

Er, hairs?

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Wed Jan 09, 2013 7:47 pm

Miscellaneous Jokes

There is a knock on the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks out, and a man is standing there. Saint Peter is about to begin his interview when the man disappears. A moment later there's another knock. Saint Peter gets the door, sees the man, opens his mouth to speak, but the man disappears once again. "Hey, are you playing games with me?" Saint Peter calls after him, rather annoyed.
"No" the man's distant voice replies anxiously.
"They are trying to resuscitate me."

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Entertainment Jokes

In a darkened theater where the suspenseful mystery story was being staged, a member of the audience suddenly stood up and cried, "Where is the murderer?"

A threatening voice behind her replied, "Right in back of you, if you don't sit down!"

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Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Thu Jan 10, 2013 7:22 pm

Entertainment Jokes

Susan and Martha meet at the market and exchange news.
Susan said: My husband was named Man of the Year.
Martha replied: Well that shows you what kind of a year it's been.

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Henry

lswot · Post by **lswot** » Fri Jan 11, 2013 1:11 pm

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Fri Jan 11, 2013 6:01 pm

Lawyer Jokes

Visiting a seriously ill lawyer in the hospital, his friend found him sitting up in bed, anxiously leafing through the Bible.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Looking for loopholes," was the lawyer's reply.

lswot · Post by **lswot** » Fri Jan 11, 2013 6:18 pm

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Sat Jan 12, 2013 3:08 pm

Family Jokes

The comments of a young mother: Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children. Now I have six children and no theories.

(Of course, by then she had probably figured out what was causing it! )

lswot · Post by **lswot** » Sat Jan 12, 2013 4:33 pm

har har

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Sun Jan 13, 2013 4:04 pm

The har's have it!

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Sun Jan 13, 2013 4:12 pm

Doctors Jokes

A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him an exam and found nothing physically wrong with him. "Listen," the doctor said, "if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you need to stop taking your troubles to bed with you."

"It's true," said the patient, "but my wife refuses to sleep alone."

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