Recycling

[lswot]

[Henry J]

Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns
Dear Walter: I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbor lady. I am 32, my husband is 34, and we have been married for twelve years.

When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeli ng increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to counseling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore.

Can you please help?

Sincerely, Sheila

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Dear Sheila: A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber.

I hope this helps.
-Walter

Henry

[lswot]

Annnd you answered this letter, when?

[Henry J]

INNOCENCE IS PRICELESS

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it. The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, 'Good morning Alex.'
'Good morning Pastor,' he replied, still focused on the plaque. 'Pastor, what is this?'
The pastor said, 'Well son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.' Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque. Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked, 'Which service, the 8:30 or the 10:45?'

Henry

[Henry J]

Dear friends,

I just read an article on the dangers of drinking....

Scared the poop out of me.
So that's it!

After today, no more reading

Henry

[Henry J]

Bob walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM.

He sat down next to a Congress Woman at the bar and stared up at the TV.

The 10:00 PM news was coming on. The news crew was covering a story of a man

On a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The Congress Woman looked at Bob and said, 'Do you think he'll jump?'

Bob says, 'You know, I bet he'll jump.'

The Congress Woman replied, 'Well, I bet he won't.'

Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, 'You're on!'

Just as the Congress Woman placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a

Swan dive off the building, falling to his death.

The Congress Woman was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Bob, saying,

'Fair's fair.. Here's your money.'

Bob replied, 'I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 PM news

And so I knew he would jump.'

The Congresswoman replied, 'I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again.'

Bob took the money......

Henry

[lswot]

[Henry J]

Scientist: "I think that atom lost an electron."

Assistant: "Are you sure?"

Scientist: "Well, it depends on how reliable this test method id, but it did test positive for the condition."

Henry

[Henry J]

Judge: Haven’t I seen you before?

Man: Yes, Your Honor. I taught your daughter how to play the drums.

Judge: Twenty years!

Charles

Henry

[Henry J]

There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

[Henry J]

Reporter: "Was the killer a man or a woman?"
Inspector Clousseau: "What other choices are there - children?"

Henry

[Henry J]

I voted early.

So the campaigners may now cease killing trees in order to stuff my mailbox with stuff that can't change my vote regardless.

Or then again, they may not.

Henry

[brian]

Probably not, lol.

I voted early, too. And it still took an hour!

[brian]

Did You Know?

* It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

* One human hair can support 3 kg (6 lb).

* The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.

* Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.

* A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.

* There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

* Women blink twice as often as men.

* The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.

* Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.

* If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.

* Men who read this are probably still busy checking their thumbs.

[Henry J]

From another BB:

is is an oldie...but, "the devil made me do it"!!!! Rolling Eyes

A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.

He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going.

So he took his costume and away he went.

The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party. In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.

She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.

His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived.

She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang.

Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.

She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind of a time he had. He said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."

Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"

He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening.

But I'll tell you, the guy I loaned my costume to sure had a real good time!"

Henry