How 'cheesey'Recycling
How 'cheesey'
lswoteccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
Re: Recycling
Say "cheese"!
A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning. The grandson did this religiously and he lived to the age of 93. When he died, he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great grandchildren and a fifteen foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.
*****
Henry
*****
Henry
Re: Recycling
Bang!
lswoteccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
*****
This is a detective story so pay close attention!!!
Three elderly ladies are excited about seeing their first Diamondbacks baseball game. They smuggle a bottle of Jack Daniel's into the ball park. The game is real exciting and they are enjoying themselves immensely mixing the Jack Daniel's with soft drinks. Soon they realize that the bottle is almost gone and the game has a lot of innings to go.
Based on the given information, what inning is it and how many players are on base?
Think!
Think some more!!
You're gonna love it......
ANSWER: It's the bottom of the fifth and the bags are loaded
*****
Henry
This is a detective story so pay close attention!!!
Three elderly ladies are excited about seeing their first Diamondbacks baseball game. They smuggle a bottle of Jack Daniel's into the ball park. The game is real exciting and they are enjoying themselves immensely mixing the Jack Daniel's with soft drinks. Soon they realize that the bottle is almost gone and the game has a lot of innings to go.
Based on the given information, what inning is it and how many players are on base?
Think!
Think some more!!
You're gonna love it......
ANSWER: It's the bottom of the fifth and the bags are loaded
*****
Henry
Re: Recycling
oh boy! 
lswoteccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
Three absent-minded professors were talking together in a bus terminal. They got so engrossed in what they were saying that they didn't notice the bus had pulled in.
As the driver sang out, "All aboard," they looked up startled and dashed from the platform. Two of them managed to hop on the bus, but the third didn't make it.
As he stood sadly watching the bus disappear into the distance, a stranger tried to cheer him up, saying, "You shouldn't feel too bad. Two out of three made it, and that's a pretty good average."
The professor shook his head. "But THEY came to see ME off."
*****
Henry
As the driver sang out, "All aboard," they looked up startled and dashed from the platform. Two of them managed to hop on the bus, but the third didn't make it.
As he stood sadly watching the bus disappear into the distance, a stranger tried to cheer him up, saying, "You shouldn't feel too bad. Two out of three made it, and that's a pretty good average."
The professor shook his head. "But THEY came to see ME off."
*****
Henry
Re: Recycling
lswoteccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
HOW TO PHOTOGRAPH A NEW PUPPY
1. Remove film from box and load camera.
2. Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash.
3. Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle.
4. Choose a suitable background for photo.
5. Mount camera on tripod and focus.
6. Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth.
7. Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera.
8. Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees.
9. Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand.
10. Get tissue and clean nose print from lens.
11. Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose.
13. Put magazines back on coffee table.
14. Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head.
15. Replace your glasses and check camera for damage.
16. Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff of neck and say, "No, outside! No, outside!"
17. Clean up mess.
18. Sit back in chair with lemonade and resolve to teach puppy "sit" and "stay" the first thing in the morning.
*****
Henry
1. Remove film from box and load camera.
2. Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash.
3. Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle.
4. Choose a suitable background for photo.
5. Mount camera on tripod and focus.
6. Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth.
7. Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera.
8. Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees.
9. Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand.
10. Get tissue and clean nose print from lens.
11. Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose.
13. Put magazines back on coffee table.
14. Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head.
15. Replace your glasses and check camera for damage.
16. Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff of neck and say, "No, outside! No, outside!"
17. Clean up mess.
18. Sit back in chair with lemonade and resolve to teach puppy "sit" and "stay" the first thing in the morning.
*****
Henry
Re: Recycling
lswoteccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
The Southern 10 Commandments
1. Y'all shalt always remember your manners.
2. Y'all shalt make no fuss over yourself.
3. Y'all shalt not sass your mama.
4. Y'all shalt always wonder what your daddy would think.
5. Y'all shalt always talk the way you grow'ed up.
6. Y'all shalt tell no whoppers unless you are in a situation where you are expected to.
7. Y'all shalt demonstrate your great faith by the way you drive.
8. Y'all shalt always clean your plate.
9. Y'all shalt hold kinfolk in high regard, regardless of what you really think of 'em.
10. Y'all shalt always remember where you come from.
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1. Y'all shalt always remember your manners.
2. Y'all shalt make no fuss over yourself.
3. Y'all shalt not sass your mama.
4. Y'all shalt always wonder what your daddy would think.
5. Y'all shalt always talk the way you grow'ed up.
6. Y'all shalt tell no whoppers unless you are in a situation where you are expected to.
7. Y'all shalt demonstrate your great faith by the way you drive.
8. Y'all shalt always clean your plate.
9. Y'all shalt hold kinfolk in high regard, regardless of what you really think of 'em.
10. Y'all shalt always remember where you come from.
*****