Recycling

[lswot]

***Groan***

[Henry J]

Kid Jokes

For weeks a five-year-old child kept telling his kindergarten teacher about the baby sister or brother that was expected at his house. One day the mother allowed the child to feel the movements of the unborn baby. The five-year-old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Moreover, he stopped telling the teacher about the awaiting event. Finally the teacher sat the child on her lap and said, "Lucas, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?

"Lucas burst into tears and confessed, "I think Mommy ate it!"

(Burp!)

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Henry

[lswot]

Yikes!

[Henry J]

Marriage Jokes

A newlywed is trying to console his little bride, who sprawled, dissolved in tears on the couch. "Darling," he implored, "Believe me. I never said you were a terrible cook. I merely pointed out that our garbage disposal has developed an ulcer."

(And we wonder why so many marriages don't last... )

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Henry

[lswot]

And they think Kids say the darndest things.

[Henry J]

I've heard that!

[Henry J]

"Doctor, it hurts when I do this!"

"Then don't do that."

(Well Hee HAW! )

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Henry

[lswot]

A Guy sees a guy walking down the street waving his arms. He asks "What are you doing?" "Chasing away the Elephants!" There aren't any Elephants, here!" "See! It's working.

[Henry J]

Yeah, he probably sent them packing.

And, since they each already have a trunk on hand, packing should be no problem for them.

Henry

[lswot]

And they shouldn't forget anything either....

[Henry J]

Tabula Rasa... Tabula Rasa... Tabula Rasa...

[Henry J]

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6.

He thought about it for some time before responding "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.

(Pizza! Pizza! )

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Henry

[Henry J]

THREE THINGS TO THINK ABOUT:

1. COWS
2. THE CONSTITUTION
3. THE TEN COMMANDMENTS

1. COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls.

But they are unable to locate 40 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give them all a cow.

(Or maybe not; that plan sounds to me like it could be an udder failure.)

2. THE CONSTITUTION
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours?

It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it's worked for over 200 years and we're not using it anymore.

(Now that's just milking the political jokes, but let's not have a cow.)

3. THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse.......

You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians -- it creates a hostile work environment.

(Besides, the hot air causes turbulence for any airplanes that happen to fly over Washington.)

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Henry

[lswot]

Clever

[Henry J]

But where is everybody?